Cloth diapering?!?

So...Most of you know I plan to cloth diaper. I have researched all types and brands for months now. I have known exactly what I wanted to try out. But now that I am actually pregnant I am second guessing myself! It's not that I don't think I could do, because I could. But I started thinking I have no place to dry the diapers! I would definetely want to sundry my diapers and I don't know where I would do that. Our backyard is so freaking small it might as well be non existant. Plus we have a 100lb rottweiler that goes back there and would probably mess with them. I don't want to put them in my driveway for the whole neighboorhood to see either.

Plus the main reason I wanted to do cloth diapers was because of the savings in money. I know the true savings would come with the second kid....I don't want to use prefolds, we mainly wanted to do kissaluvs fitteds and covers first then move on to something else. Start up cost for the first year is going to be about $450 and thats if I can control the urge to not buy all the cute diapers! Well I looked up disposable diapers online and if you order them off the internet as opposed to in store then holy crap they are alot cheaper! The figures that I came up with were very similar to a year with cloth diapers. I have the cloth/disposable chart that shows how much money you save, but when I crunch the numbers myself I can't see that much of a difference. Maybe I am missing something? My husband says we can try cloth and if we don't like it then switch to disposables. But I informed him us "trying" cloth would still be spending the $450 (or somthing around that) to have enough diapers. He is also concerned that we won't have the start up money to spend on diapers. I think he likes the idea of using cloth because his memaw used cloth, but he would rather spend that bulk money on something else.

So once again I am so undecided. I have been set on cloth and even told everybody for months now that we planned to do it. Maybe it would be different if I could be a stay at home mom? Plus I still have that problem of where I would sun dry them too? Lots to think of. If you have any input on cloth/disposables please let me know.

Baby Bella (warning mention of loss!)

Baby Bella was born today. Mommy is doing great. She was 4lbs and 3oz. 18 inches long. She would have made our lives better. I hope my friend can get through this loss without it being to hard on her. Mommy would have been 37 weeks tomorrow. She came this morning at about 7:30am. The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times which is what made her heart stop beating. Bella will always be loved and in our hearts.

5 Weeks!

How far along? 5 weeks
Weight gain/loss: UGH, 147! +2lbs:( I guess I expected to gain weight though. I have eaten terrible this past week! Lots of fast food. It has been a very long stressful week but I know that is no excuse. I am going to start eating more healthier! And on days when it isn't too cold outside I will try to take a couple walks a week. Get some leg muscle back:P
Maternity clothes? Nope, but have considered getting a bella band:)
Stretch marks? Just the ones I've always had lol
Sleep? Past two night I have laid in bed with the tv on and fallen asleep by 9pm or earlier!
Best moment this week? Telling my parents that I was pregnant:)
Food cravings: T.G.I. Fridays broccoli and cheese soup with their amazing breadsticks!!! Seriously after you try these breadsticks you will be hooked too!
Gender: Way too early, but we think it is a boy.
Belly button in or out? In
Movement? Uh NO lol
What I miss? Would have been nice to have a glass of wine earlier this week but don't miss it to much.
What I'm looking forward to: My nurses appt next Monday on 1/31
Milestones: Baby's heart should start to beat this week and the brain and other major systems begin to develop this week.

I got this Blog award from my friend MillerMama. You can read her blog here. Thank you MT! xoxo

Now onto the rules that come with receiving this award.
1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered new bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know about the award.

Okay, first thing, Here are 7 things about me:

1. I am a huge ford person! Mainly mustangs:) Got it from my dad lol I have a 2008 mustang gt/cs and a 1968 Mustang fastback that I got when I was about 17.

2. I love to get pedicures! My one guilty pleasure, my friend and I go every other week.

3. I have a 20 year old brother and a 10 year old sister. My sister was adopted by my parents 6 years ago. I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. I love her so much:)

4. My husband and I have been together since we were 14 and never broke up once. We got married on our 10 year anniversary.

5. I am a speedracer and have bad road rage. bad. lol I blame it on Houston traffic though:P

6. My DH and I bought our first house when we were only 21 about to be 22 years old. Been there ever since.

7. I love the color pink! LOVE it:) I am all about the furry boots too! If I have a baby girl I wouldn't be mad if her wardrobe was only of little pink things:) And of course a pair of pink furry boots lol

I award the following bloggers!
1. Mrs. Baker at My life as Mrs. B. (private blog)
2.mchupie at ...and baby makes three
3.growing a foosa at growing a foosa
4. pamster917 at Baby Mitchell on the way
5. Life of Lacey at Life of Lacey
And I know Cat and MT already received this award, but I would like to recognize them. Y'all are awesome and love reading yalls blog too. If yall hadn't already received it then I would have y'all on this list too!

BELLA (warning mention of loss)

Most of you know a little history about my best friend that had the baby that stopped growing. If you remember I made a post on ttgp about my friend that smoked all throughout her pregnancy and I had asked if anyone else had to deal with a friend that smoked while pregnant. Then later that same day I found out that her baby, Bella, had stopped growing. She was 34 weeks pregnant but Bella stopped growing at 32 weeks. But, they said she was healthy and doing fine. We had her baby shower that weekend and all was good. I helped her unpack and put away all Bella's new toys and clothes.

She was waiting for the specialist that her doc referred her to to return her call so she could make an appt. Her appt. was today at 36weeks 3 days pregnant. Bella no longer has a heartbeat. I am devasted for her and don't understand how they would let Bella live inside her for a whole month when she had stopped growing. Why didn't they take her out sooner so she could have lived? I am trying to stay calm because I know all this stress I have been experiencing can not be good for my baby. I took tomorrow off from work so I could be there with her when she delivers baby Bella in the morning. I don't understand how it got to this point. I hope my frind will be okay and make it through this. Right when she found out Bella had passed away my cousin was having her baby at almost the same time. She was due today at 40 weeks and delivered a healthy baby girl. I hope I can find the strength to say the right things and just be there for my friend. I fear she will try to push me away since she just lost her baby and she knows I am pregnant. Please put her in your prayers! I just feel numb, I can't even imagine how she feels. But, thanks to the bump I do know what the appropriate responses are to losing a baby and what doesn't help at all.

The cat is out of the bag! Sort of...

So last night we went to my parents to tell them I am pregnant1 Originally I wanted to wait until 8 weeks after our 1st appointment, but I am horrible at secrets lol So I told them by giving my mom this shirt...

I gave my dad one to but my stupid computer only uploads certain pictures whenever it feels like it. And I guess it doesn't feel like it now. UGH. BUT, his said "Welcome to Grammy and Grampy's, Save your drama for your mamma!" lol

I think they were shocked at first lol My mom even made the comment (jokeingly) that I am trying to keep up with the jones's. I was like uh how is that? And she said because your friends are pregnant. LOL, I was like actually no I'm not. They arent even married and their pregnancies where not planned as this one was. So besides that little comment everything went good:)My mom and I went through the 4 bags of baby clothes she has been collecting over time lol Only one bag is of boy clothes. I told her we think this will be a boy so she better stop buying girl clothes until we find out! We also told my brother and sister last night too:)

After that we went to dinner with a group that is "like Brandon's family" More like his parents then his actual parents I guess you could say. Brandon told them and they were excited too. So now people know, but that is all we plan to tell unitl after the first appointment. We will tell his parents and sister and our other friends and family then.

I hope everything will be okay and we will see a hb that day! But until then I am going to try to not stress about it since my work provides enough stress for me. I know that can't be good for the pregnancy so I am trying! But for today I am still pregnant ( which was proved by an internet cheapie this morning since I have billions of them left LOL) and I love our little baby:)

What pregnant women won’t tell you. Ever.

Ready?

You Must be Happy
You’re pregnant with a baby you want and you and your husband planned for! Congrats! You must be thrilled! Everyone else is! Don’t you love being pregnant? Everyone else does! It’s magical! It’s wonderful!

Except… you’re not. Don’t try to talk about it with anyone. It’s like explaining mustard to a frog. Women who are already parents will explain to you that you’re just dealing with some stress, and that everything will be fine. Everyone who is not a mother will just be confused or think you’re joking.

Reality: Pregnancy is terrifying. You don’t know what’s going on with your body. No one tells you what’s normal and what’s not. And suddenly, no matter how excited and prepared you thought you were, you realize you are totally and completely not ready to be responsible for another human being. You’re filled with doubt. You’re sure you’re making a mistake… and you know what? You might be. No one will tell you that either (unless you’re not married, in which case you are not to be happy at all and any mention of being happy will be met with feigned congratulations and followed up with lectures to your face and whispers behind your back about how naive/stupid/irresponsible you are.) But really, parenting isn’t for everyone. And even if you once thought it was for you, it might not be. For you, it is entirely possible that you made a mistake.

But even if it’s not a mistake (BTW, it probably isn’t), it can sure feel like it. And it’s not only okay, but normal to feel overwhelmed and confused… even angry. On top of being one of the biggest life changing events you will ever experience, you’re uncomfortable and your hormones are messing with your mind… and your body. And on top of that yet is the fact that it’s hard to find sympathy from anyone other than women who are currently pregnant and women who are dealing with their newborns.

Morning Sickness
Ok, everyone talks about morning sickness. But I don’t think it gets proper credit for being as awful as it is. Somehow, barfing endlessly for months has gained a reputation as being a romantic rite of passage. It’s not. It’s like being hungover with the flu for 6 weeks – 9 months.

People will think they’re laughing along with you as you struggle to keep anything down. They will either be completely unsympathetic or think it’s an amusing practical joke to expose you to smells that will bring on your nausea. They will even insist that you’re wrong that the smell of chicken a block away will keep you sick for days because “but you love chicken!”

Then there’s the morning sickness fetishists. They love hearing stories about morning sickness because it means that your pregnancy is going well. It’s true, kind of. There is a correlation between the severity of morning sickness and pregnancy outcomes. But really, when you have 7 months to go, and haven’t held down more than water and saltines for weeks, you don’t give a shit. Also, morning sickness does not necessarily mean that you will have a healthy, full term pregnancy either. You can puke for eight weeks straight and still miscarry… which kind of makes the whole cheering thing kind of a dick move.

Don’t be fooled into thinking “morning sickness” has anything to do with mornings. Noon doesn’t change anything. “Morning” sickness is better termed “all the damn time” sickness. It’s sweet that Hollywood is naive enough to believe that preggos throw up three times before 9am then go on to have a normal day. And by “sweet” I mean that it makes me want to puke.

Staying awake
The first trimester, it’s not even worth it to try. You will not stay awake. You can’t fight it. You can’t sleep your way into more energy. You will feel narcoleptic.

The second trimester you won’t be able to sleep. You will be full of energy. Anything that can be done, must get done now! Before bed! Who needs sleep! You will feel like a manic on meth.

The third trimester you will be motivated but exhausted. You will want to sleep all the time but will not be able to. You will not be able to get comfortable. Once you are comfortable and dozing off, your baby will decide that it’s time to throw a uterus rave. You will feel like a narcoleptic with a conjoined manic-meth-head twin.

Aches
Everything will hurt. Your head, your boobs, your teeth, your back, your belly, your thighs, your feet.

If nothing hurts, something is probably wrong.

If everything hurts too much, something is probably wrong.

If everything hurts the right amount, that is a great sign and it means that everything is going perfectly.

How do you know the right amount? You don’t. And every day, the “right amount” can change. Good luck. You can take Tylenol (paracetamol for the foreigners), but don’t expect it to work for anything ache-related.

Cervix Kicks
Oh your sweet little baby is healthy and moving around and kicking. You can feel him bumping around. It’s magical.

HOLY SHIT! WHAT WAS THAT?

That? That crazy sudden pain that almost made you collapse? That feeling that someone just sent an electric fireball down your vagina and through your legs? That, my dear, was your sweet little baby kicking you in the cervix.

You can’t prepare for it. You can’t stop it. You can only hope that each time it happens, you are near something to break your fall. Or that you are in a place where no one cares if you scream.

Bladder Kicks
It’s probably unfair to say no one talks about this one. But I don’t think it’s talked about enough.

Once your kid starts kicking hard enough to feel it on the outside, it’s time to go to the pharmacy and pick up some Poise pantyliners. Do it. Do not be embarrassed. Do not wait to see if I am making this up.

At this point, your kid can kick with some force. Your bladder lives next to her feet. Think of your bladder as a crudely fastened water balloon. A quick punch aaaaand……hopefully you have access to new pants. Otherwise you have to start yelling at invisible people about Zeus to get away with walking around smelling like pee.

Gaining Sympathy
Don’t expect anyone to ever be sympathetic to any of the things you are going through. Maybe this is why no one talks about these things.

Your friends who want kids don’t want to hear this.

Your friends who don’t want kids will want you to shut up and snap, “You’re the one who wanted kids.” (Because wanting a family means that you want to be kicked in the cervix while urinating on yourself with a back that aches so bad you can hardly move… that’s what YOU GET!)

Your partner might try to be sympathetic, but is going through all this for the first time, too. He won’t have much advice, and will pretty much feel helpless.

With the exception of women with newborns, everyone who doesn’t fall into the first three groups just wants to tell you how great it will be when the kid comes out.

Yeah, it is worth it in the end… but that doesn’t change anything you’re going through right now.

Even though you’re literally never alone, pregnancy can be a very lonely time.

Swelling Junk
Everyone knows things swell when you’re pregnant. Your hands swell. Your feet swell. Your face swells. Your boobs enter a room 5 minutes before you, and 10 minutes after your belly.

But no one tells you that your genitals swell. No one. And once they start, there’s nothing you can do to stop them. And it hurts.

It feels like someone punched you in the crotch with brass knuckles. Sitting hurts. Standing makes the blood rush down. Laying down keeps the pressure off, which feels better, but also helps everything engorge for when you do sit or stand.

And as the baby gets heavier, it acts like a tourniquet, trapping your entire blood supply inside your labia. At some point, you may think you’ve grown giant infected testicles. Nope. Those are your girl parts.

At this point you’ll probably stab anyone who looks like they may even be thinking about sex. If you’re not ready to stab anyone, try having sex… a little more blood rushing down there will undoubtedly get you stabbing within minutes!

Feet
New moms always talk about how they want to get back into their pre-pregnancy jeans. This is their way of coping with the loss of every pair of shoes they ever loved.

By the middle of your 3rd trimester, none of your shoes will fit. Your feet will be swollen and all the muscles and ligaments in your feet will have relaxed, spreading your feet out. The swelling does go away once you’ve pushed your little doll out. The spreading does not.

I hope you didn’t buy your dream Manolos to celebrate your growing family. Now, the only place they’re going to fit is the donation bin. Bright side: some hobo out there is gonna look FABulous!

Pooping
You will poop during child birth. There is nothing you can do about this. Pushing is pushing.

Your doctor and husband (or other coach) will tell you that you didn’t so that you’re not too embarrassed to keep going. You’ll assume they’re being honest. You’ll brag to everyone that you didn’t. Then your husband will get drunk a year and a half later and laugh at you for dooking yourself… then laugh at you for thinking you didn’t. You’ll punch him in the balls, but it won’t change anything because he’s right. You did.

You pooped your bed while a room full of people were staring at your bloody gaping vagina.

Bloody gaping vagina
Yeah. That’s where the baby comes out. People will be staring at it intently. I have nothing else to add.

Alcohol
If you choose not to drink alcohol while pregnant, be prepared for After School Special levels of peer pressure to drink. It is apparently unacceptable to say to anyone ever that you feel safer abstaining completely. You can argue whatever facts you want. Everyone has a sister/aunt/cousin who drank and smoked through her entire pregnancy and gave birth to a healthy 13 lb baby. Your friends, family and co-workers will be annoyed by the fact that you choose not to drink… because for some reason an increased risk of raising a child with ADHD is no reason to stop kicking back with a 6 pack once (or seven times) a week. You need to stop being such a pretentious sober bitch.

The people who applaud your choice to be a pretentious sober bitch will freak.the.fuck.out if anyone drinks in your vicinity. Do not offer to mix up some of your signature cocktail for everyone at a party. Forget it. You’re pregnant. For 9 months, the world is to act as if alcohol never existed. If you mention that you’re really missing margaritas, or take half a sip of one, your friends will call DCFS on you.

Using TP
After giving birth, you will be instructed to stop using toilet paper. Not forever, but for a while. You will be sent home with a little squirt bottle to use to clean yourself after you pee.

Eventually your doctor will clear you to wipe yourself again. But really, it’s not like the TP thing matters. You’ll be too bloody down there for it to really make a difference. Every time you pee, you’ll want to jump into the shower to wash your unusable bloody sexy parts… and your bloody thighs… even your bloody calves and ankles, too, at least for a few days.

Advice
Everyone you meet who has ever met another pregnant woman is an expert on your pregnancy. Everything they will tell you defies logic, and is likely the opposite of anything your OB would ever tell you. The longer ago and the farther away they gave birth, the more advice they will have and the more they will insist your doctor is wrong. Example: 95 year old woman who birthed her youngest 80 years ago in Siberia knows more than your doctor, and will terrify you while going on for hours about what the best way to be pregnant is (using vodka to douche every hour is important for a healthy fetus! You don’t need prenatal care! Birth defect screening is rubbish; try a dowsing rod for your answers! Pickled fish make the best pantyliners!). Your 25 year old friend next door with a 3 month old daughter will not impose her advice on you.

Your husband will give you advice based on what he remembers from his aunt being pregnant in 1989.

Everyone else will ask you questions, benign questions compared to the stuff I’ve listed here, and will be horrified by your answers. “OMG YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT ON THE PREGNANCY TEST STICK? OOOOOOOH YUCK!” “Transvaginal ultrasound? What’s that? OOOOOOOOH YUCK!” “They look THERE? On the BABY? To find out what sex it is? OOOOOOH YUCK!” “Wait, it’s moving right NOW? Like while we talk? OOOOOOOOOOH YUCK!” “Can you still have sex? OOOOOOOH YUCK!”

So there you have it. Everything you may or may not have wanted to know about being pregnant that no one would have ever told you anyway.

Now, I need to go ice my crotch and change my Poise pad.

4 WEEKS:)

The beginning:)


How far along? 4 Weeks
Weight gain/loss: Starting weight was 145, same today
Maternity clothes? Way too early
Stretch marks? Way too early
Sleep? I am so tired, but I have been going to bed earlier and getting about 8 hours a night!. (big change from 5-6 hours on work nights.
Best moment this week? The BFP of course!
Food cravings: Mexican food! I have had it 4 times since I got my bfp!
Gender: Way too early
Belly button in or out? Better still be in LOL
Movement? Way too early
What I miss? Wine and energy drinks
What I'm looking forward to: My nurse appointmnet on the 31st and then my Doctor appt Feb. 21st!
Milestones: It's still so early so lets go with hitting 4 weeks lol

So my Cat hates me!

UGH! We have 3 cats; Mowgli, Gepetto, and Bagherra. Bagheera doesn't get along with Mowgli. It's so bad that Bagheera usually lives in our bathroom the majority of the time (its a good size bathroom) and we let him out in the evenings when we are home to keep an eye on them. Well since I found out I am pregnant I moved him to the laundry room yesterday(much smaller room). I didn't want to be around his catbox all the time. Plus when he jumps in and out of that thing he slings liter everywhere. I passed the job of taking care of both cat boxes to my husband. Even if I do end up having to scoop out their boxes I just don't want to be around it all day becuase it was in our bathroom.

So last night after he peed in the corner of our bathroom where his box used to be I gave him a "bad cat" and spanked him and had DH throw him in the laundry room. He was not a happy camper. Hissing like crazy and just being a total biatch! This morning I tried getting to the laundry room to get some clothes out of the dryer (thinking he would be more calm after sleeping) uh no! He started hissing at me and bolted out of that room like I was going to kill him. ugh...so the laundry room may not work. Now I have to think of another place to keep him during the day when we aren't home. this sucks.

I am feeling pretty good, normal still. My boobs are a little sensitive but not bad yet. I am been very tired and wanting to pass out as soon as I get home. But, can't blame that on pregnancy becuase it could also be the fact that work is kicking my ass! It's been horrible this week doing both departments! I have been busy non stop and just going going till its time to go home. It's exhausting.

So far I have told 4 friends that I am pregnant. And I think this is all we are going to tell until after my first appointment which is Feb. 21st (Same day as Nat's!) I have a nurse appt this month on the 31st. Blood work and history and all that jazz. Really excited and hope this baby sticks! Oh, and I think it will be a boy:)

In case you haven't heard:)

I AM KTFU! :)

I am still in complete surprise and shock!! I have had all the same feelings as past months and I was sure af was coming soon. I even had a little temp drop this morning. But since I had so many ic's left I said what the hell and took one. I thought I might have seen the faintest shadow ever. But since I wasn't sure if it was all in my head I took another test and for sure saw a second line this time! But it was a blue dye test so I was extremely nervous that it wasn't real. So on my way to work I stopped by walmart to pick up a digital. When it came up saying "pregnant" I just about cried! Cycle #5 was a winner for us! I just hope this pregnancy sticks!

Not really any symptoms except my boobs are a little tingly and heavy feeling. But that is also a normal af symptom for me. I have my first real appointment on Feb. 21st, just shy of 9 weeks. I meet with the nurse on the 31st of Jan to get my chart ready and have blood drawn.

I have no idea how I am going to tell Brandon tonight....I may just blurt it out lol I am telling a couple friends this week also. If god forbid anything was to happen they would know about it in a heartbeat.

I am still in disbelief! Last wednesday I forgot to write my wednesday weigh in but I was at 144.8 (which was pretty much the same as last time). Tomorrow I will weigh in as my starting weight of this pregnancy:) I am over the moon.

The Shit has hiteth the fan!

:) Thats how it feels anyway. I have about 5 minutes to update everyone lol Last week I trained in central supply and tried to learn as much as I could. Friday they let go the women who was in charge of that department. So today it is all me. I have been sooooo busy with my department! I feel like I have x-rayd about every patient in here and I still have 3 more to do. I should be done with all my x-rays by lunch and then I am going to hit up central supply. I have so much to do in there it is crazy. Today is going to be a long crazy day. I'm glad I only have 3 more days to work at the mall because this is going to be alot of work, which I figured. I told the girls on ttgp about a week in a half ago that I would be absent for awhile which I havent been lol until today. Today starts my absence on ttgp:( Sad day lol I'll try to bump at lunch and in the evenings.

I don't know how many dpo I am, but I am pretty sure month 5 won't be our month either. Everything feels the exact same as previous months. Later when I have more time I will come back and do another update on my weight and how the baby shower went over that I through for my friend this past weekend! I'm sure there are lots of spelling errors in here but no time to read through and fix.

p.s. I will be buying some wine to relax with tonight after today, which will be the day from hell. Peace Out...

Work Sucks

So our patient census today is 34. It hasn't gone up more then to 40 patients since I was told about potential layoffs. Went in to talk to HR today and she told me most likely layoffs will be by the end of the week. Tomorrow and Thursday I have to travel to our "sister" hospital to learn central supply from their lady there. I think I may need to give up my manager position at the mall sooner rather then later. It is all just to stressfull to think about. I talk to DH about it and he says don't worry about it, if you want to quit working at the mall then quit. He doesn't seem to understand that if I quit I am not sure we can pay all our bills let alone pay off any debt sooner. He applied at that 2 weeks off/on job and hasn't heard anything back. Don't see how I am ever going to be able to conceive a baby with all this stress in my life. Speaking of, I am 4dpo today and plan to test in one week. Although I don't have my hopes up.

My weekend

I had a pretty good weekend. Friday went shopping with my friend who is getting married July 15th:) And we picked her wedding dress and ordered it! She was so excited. Then we went out for pedicures and to dinner with friends.
Before we went dress shopping Brandon was taking me to meet my friends future MIL so I could ride with her...Brandon and I are sitting in the middle lane waiting for traffic to pass so we could get over. Out of no where this hooker hits us head on! It's like watching something happen in slow motion but knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it. She was trying to cross over all lanes and her head was completely turned to the right staring at the freeway. We are laying on the horn and as soon as she turned her head back she slammed into us. You could see the look of surprise in her face and then she just started balling LOL I thought that part was pretty damn funny. Anyways, she tried to lie and say she was looking both ways and blah blah blah. Bitch we saw you! I was pissed. We have had our truck for about 3 months. The insurance adjuster is coming out today to check out the damages so we can get it fixed. Here is our truck (before it got hit)


Saturday my friend and I watched reruns of Army wives (trying to get her caught up on the seasons) and Brandon and I went out for dinner that night. I also went to my friends mothers house to work on some stuff for her baby shower next weekend. We made waxed diapers to go on the tables. I was so unsure about this when she tried telling me about it lol I thought it sounded weird. But we went ahead and made them. You take a piece of cloth and pin it together like a diaper and then dip it in wax. Then you form it to look like a diaper. They are going to be sat at each place for all the guests, and they will be filled with nuts, and candy for them to snack on.

Here is the diaper cake i made for her:


Sunday I got all the christmas decorations put up and the laundry down! Felt very accomplished lol

And on a completely different note lol I am going to get my hair lightened with lots of blonde added to it in 2 weeks;)But I was playing with that face in hole application for facebook and thought I looked pretty damn hot for a blonde!!! LOL, but DH isn't having any of that lol So thats why I am going partially blonde again. Here was the FIH:

I have a hairball:)

LOL, thats what DH said to me last night.

Backstory...
My sister just turned 10 so she doesn't know all about the birds and the bees yet. My brother just got a brand new cat for Christmas, Sarabi. She started doing weird things around the house, meowing like she is being tortured and sticking her butt up in the air 24/7. LOL, it is quite humorous. So come to find out my brothers cat is in heat! My sister asked my mom why Sarabi was acting that way and my mothers response was "She has a hairball" lol So DH and I go over there for New years day and my sister informs me that Sarabi has a hairball and thats why she is acting weird. She is not alowed out of the house because she was to work that hairball out of her system. So all night someone would say something or Sarabi would meow like crazy and someone would say "Better be nice to her she has a hairball" lol Seriously it may not sound funny, but it was :) maybe it is one of those you have to be there type of things.

So last night I am trying to get some sexy time in from DH for the 3rd night and he wasn't having it lol We both work long days and he was tired, he told me lets try tomorrow. (Secretly okay with this because I had just worked 3 14 hour days in a row and I was beat!)But of course I was still trying to get me some:P He said "Let me guess, this is your fertile time?" I said yep so thats why this needs to happen lol We were quiet for a minute and said "You have a hairball" lol I burst out laughing. He then said "If you start sticking your butt up in the air I am going to get worried" :) Gotta love him.

I know I am O'ing very soon so I am getting some tonight and tomorrow:P Like you all care, lol but I thought I would inform you:)

Small Update

Just spoke with my boss. I wanted to know a time frame before lay offs started to happen and how long I had till I am running two departments. She told me 1-2 weeks. This is good news to me because I have been thinking It could be any minute. So this means I can bump more on ttgp lol well for another week at least.

On a side note, we did get 6 patients admitted last night so that helped our census a little bit. Still on flex here at work though. We are at 38 in house patients today, we need 45 to be off flex and about 55 for no layoffs probably. We have been "flexed" for about 7 months now. It would be awesome if we got alot of patients and our census stayed up and they didn't have to lay anybody off! I can always hope right?

*Wednesday Weigh In*

So this week was hard for me lol I guess the first week always is though.

12/28/2010-146.6
1/5/2011-145 (1.6 pound loss)

So, I think that is pretty good considering I didn't work out at all but just watched what I was eating a little more. I think next week will be better because a lot happened this week. We had new years eve/day where we ate alot and drank alot. We also went out to eat at 3 restaurants because we had gift cards from Christmas. Plus don't forget we went to the Texans game and I had some stadium food. But all in all I think it went pretty good. So lets pretend this is our cycle and I get pregnant, at this rate I could be at 143 which I would be happy with for starting weight of a pregnancy. But only time will tell...

And an update on the job front...

Brandon and I talked about all of our options last night and everything is still on the table. You know right away when they told me my two choices I jumped on running both departments because I would do anything to keep my job. I seriously thought I would be here for years to come, I had no plans to leave anytime soon. But the more I thought about it yesterday the more mad I got. I mean, I feel cheated and tricked somehow. They expect me to run 2 departments for the price of only 1 department. So I get ALOT of extra work (obv enough for 2 people). I think that is fvcked up!

So our plan is for Brandon to look for either a 2nd job or a better one that way I can quit my job from the mall and only work my ass off here at the hospital and hope after the 6-7 months they see how dedicated I am and census goes back up so they hire another cs person and give me a raise for being a "team player". OR I say screw this and find another job that I get paid for what I actually do and Brandon still finds another job. The downside to quitting here is I really do love it here, I feel comfortable with everyone and feel like I made some friends over the past couple of years. Also the biggest reason is my insurance. What happens if I get pregnant before anything is decided? I know it won't be east getting a new job newly pregnant or getting new insurance. And I am not the type to ttc with no insurance, I will not be one of those people. So that means I would have to put off ttc if I decided to switch jobs and I don't know if I could do that:( The only plus for finding a new job and quitting this one would be I could collect my 401k which would be about $10,000 in my pocket:)

Oh, forgot this part...Brandon is talking to his cousin to see if they are hiring at his job which is in the oil field. 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. I have always been against these type of jobs big time because I don't think you can be a family when the husband is never home. Well you can, but it would be hard. But this job would pay the bills and even be enough for me to quit my job if I wanted, thats how good the money is there. I told him if he wanted to consider this job we could talk about it but we would need to set some rules before hand. I wouldn't want him getting set on this money for to long. Just a year or so, enough time for us to pay off all debt and put some in savings. Then he would need to come back and get a real job where he could be home all the time. I would be so lonely without him for 2 weeks! He is my best friend and it would be so hard....Anybody else out there have any experience or relationships with a job where their SO has to be away for awhile?

Decisions, Decisions.

In one second everything can change...

I get a phone call on my office line from my boss saying meeting in thirty minutes, my office...So of course for the next 30 minutes I am freaking out wondering what the hell this meeting is about.

Meeting time: My boss asks me how the holidays were and just making small talk while we wait for the HR person to meet up with us for the meeting too. HR walks in and says sorry I got a conference call we are gonna have to reschedule...And I was like WHOA, wait a second somebody tell me what this is about so I don't spend the rest of the day stressing out. So she shuts the door and in a nutshell pretty much tells me they are laying off people in the hospital because census (amount of patients int he hospital) has been too low. (it has been very low for about 7 months now!)They need to lay off about 7 people. I run the radiology department, I am the only person in that department...no me...no xrays. So they said they want to try and keep me and my job but that means changes. Either I go down to part time or I pick up another department.

They told me they are probably going to lay off the women that runs central supply (orders everything the hospital needs) and I would run that department too. The women in central supply just had a baby a couple months ago who probably isn't even 6 months old right now and I think she is a single mom:( At this part I am trying very hard not to cry at the thought of losing my job and being stuck with all these bills that we would in no way be able to pay without my income. So I told them I can't go down to part time and I would obviously do whatever it took to keep my job (and income!). So it looks like soon I will be running the radiology department and the central supply department all by my freaking self with no raise for doing it either. (I also am head of the Employee Activity Committee here at the hospital) Plus don't forget I also have a part time job working at the mall. Just the thought of it stresses me out, especially since I know doing all that work should result in a pay increase but with layoffs hapening I know it wont. I told them let me know when everything is going down because I will have to train more to run that department (I ran part of it when the central supply girl was out on maternity leave).

So I get back to my department and called my husband. I started with "You need to look for another job that pays better" lol and he was like yeah, okay. (This is nothing new, he already knows he needs to eventually find a better job but we were in no hurry because we were hoping at his one year mark in June they would give him a raise.) I couldn't even keep from crying tellling him everything. He is going to call our friend who lives in Austin and see if they are hiring at his job just in case. He makes a ton of money at that job and would be able to pay all the bills on that income alone. But, that is in Austin....we live in Houston. 3-4 hour difference. So that would be DH staying in Austin during the week and then home for the weekends. I guess If we had to do that it would work but holy hell would it suck.

So as of right now I am just waiting to see what happens. I was told that if I agree to run both departments then it would probably be for 6-7 months. I have a feeling that if census doesn't pick up then they may want to do away with my job too. Today sucks.

Welcome a new year!

We had such a good weekend! New years eve at my friends house was sooo much fun. I didn't drink any wine, but had tons of bacardi and crystal light lol That was the first time I drank liquor in probably about 6 months or so. And I didn't get a hangover! lol I was pretty proud about that;) We made over 100 jello shots which were yummy. I also ate a couple plates of chips and queso, my weakness. That night My friend told me I would be pregnant before July.....okay thanks. She also informed me to quit trying and thinking about it because my stressing was why I am not pregnant....another okay thanks. I told her I am not stressing about getting pregnant. Yeah, I get upset when af shows each month but I think that is normal. I don't stress myself into a frenzy every day thinking about ttc. But all in all it was a fun night that ended about 3am. Today we went to the Texans game which we won! Then out to eat with friends. I hope this new year brings lots of new for us. Last year was all about change and our wedding. Hopefully this new year can be about us growing into a family with a baby:) And because my blog wouldn't be finished without pictures, here you go:)
Today before the game:


Me kicking ass at some flip cup!

Before our flip cup matches:)

Brandon and I

Brandon and his best mans baby girl, Emmalin

Jello shot anyone?


But I would like to add still no fast food from me! yay:) Which makes a week now. We DID eat at at a couple restaurants over the weekend but I don't consider that fast food. We also ate at the stadium today during the game but I was hungry and there was no going around that. But oh well, I just hope wednesday shows at least a pound lost....Till next time:)